Romance (is boring)

Last week, my best friend/ex-boyfriend died. We were together for two years and then very close afterwards. He had a heart attack in his sleep. At 19. He never did drugs and hardly drank, and was probably the nicest guy in the world. In conclusion, life is shit.

The only good thing to come out of it is the way that death changes the way people look at life. His brother has already cleaned up his act quite a bit. I mean, I locked myself away for a week. But now I feel like I have an obligation to live in the moment, almost like I'm living for both of us. & strangely, death seems to focus the mind on sex. It must be an evolutionary thing.

In fact, romance seems to be stalking me lately. No one seems to be able to accept that people can be perfectly happy being single. Even more irritating than that view are the reasons people give for getting into a relationship, specifically "Oh, we have so much in common." Similar interests are a good basis for friendships, yes, but we don't have to fuck everyone who we get on well with and don't find physically repulsive. Furthermore, if there's anything that internet forums have taught me, it's that there's no shortage of 16-25 year-olds with an interest in misanthropy, politics, scifi and indie music. I went to see Waiting For Godot (the one with Ian McKellen ee!!) last night, for example, and the audience was disturbingly saturated with teenagers. Who knew Samuel Beckett and existentialism were magnets for youth? Young people have been so desperate to become alternative that we've all ended up exactly the same. It's depressing.

Anyway, I've digressed and I'm unsure what the point of this post even was. Oh well. Apologies.