5am and I can't sleep

Insomnia has forced me into redoing political internet tests.

I'm quite proud of the results though, I'm a proper srs anarcho-capitalist now, LOOK LOOK LOOK.

Yes, bitches, that's

Economic Left/Right: 10.00

SocialLibertarian/Authoritarian: -8.51

Jealous?

aaaaand I got 150/160 on the libertarian purity test which apparently makes me nearly perfect.

Oh well, I'd best get back to economics revision so I can attempt to justify those scores, ha.

The Sexuality Game

So me and my friend were discussing the Kinsey sexuality scale (y'know, the one that gives you a score from 0-6 based on how gay/straight you are). There's this online test now &, to be frank, I find it faintly ridiculous that a few questions can determine your entire sexuality. I have my own method:

I started this process a few years ago, when I realised that I was bisexual. Except, for a little while, the concept of bisexuality didn't seem to exist in my mind; gay and straight were the only options. Everyone's so quick to pigeonhole you, I think it becomes entrenched in our own psyches. Anyway, I created this "sexuality game" in an attempt to solve the problem.

You know when someone really gorgous catches your eye on the street or on the bus or something? You turn around, look them up and down and generally wish that you could elope to Paris that night? Yeah? Well, basically, whenever I'm out I try and measure whether I gawp at a higher number of women than guys or vice versa. After three years, I've not got closer to an actual answer on my sexuality though, admittedly. (Fortunately, bisexuality is very much a possiblity.) But at least it provides an excuse for shameless perving.

When I explained this to my friend, he labelled my game a 'sociopathic act of stalkery'. Reading this back, he might have a point. Apparently, people aren't variables to be measured: who knew?

A Pointless Rant

I can't even keep up with a blog :/ FML

Anyway, everything's in complete disarray: my internet is being a bitch, I've had to move back into my Dad's, my little sister keeps stealing my Marlboros and swine flu is slowly killing me. On the other hand, the David Mitchell 'Who Do Think You Are?' has just about made my life. So it's swings & roundabouts.

K, more seriously, still finding it impossible to choose between applying for Philosophy & Physics, PPE or just straight Philosophy. And time is running out. Fuck, they shouldn't make you decide your whole future when you're not really ready to decide what sort of milk to buy (semi-skimmed is too milky, but skimmed is too watery, no? And they don't sell 1% everywhere).

Plus it's 5am and I've just started re-watching The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (Zooey Deschanel, ily).

"So long, and thanks for all the fish!"
Insomnia makes everything strangely Kafka-esque.

ça dépend

Hmm, I was going to write an overview of my thoughts on political philosophy today but I've found I have neither the time nor the inclination. Tomorrow instead, maybe.

Life just seems so fleeting. Or, rather, happiness does: one day everything's fine, the next everything's falling apart. & in 200 years, we'll all be dead and no one will remember any of us.

Gosh, cheerful stuff, eh?
I'm going to go and drown my sorrows in Sartre.

[/emo cliche]

Y/N?

[EDITED OUT]

The internet is for the narcissistic

Ok, so condemning the world of internet personae might not be the best way to start an internet blog, but try to endure the hypocrisy for a moment.

I’m relatively new to the whole ‘THE INTERNETZ IS SRS BSNS!!1!!1!!’ scene. I started posting on a couple of forums about 8 months ago and now it’s fair to say I’m a bit of a regular (thanks to chronic procrastination & insomnia). Obviously, I’m hardly the omniscient ruler of /b/, but it’s been enough experience to notice a pattern.

By definition, creating any kind of internet profile is an attempt to display yourself in a certain way (with varying success at reflecting the reality). When I edit my Facebook, for example, I’ll admit that I deliberate over how my interests make me appear. It’s pathetic, in all honesty, but undeniable; an uncomfortable truth. My assertion is that all this pondering over our e-image is tantamount to narcissism. We’re preoccupied with ourselves. Even leaving profiles blank is a deliberate attempt to send out a certain message. And following the noble tradition of branding artists, writers, actors and poets as pompous poseurs, surely denizens of the internet community must suffer the same fate?

Hmm, I suppose this argument relies on an assumption though: that self-expression is fundamentally an act of self-love. Agreed?

I’ll explain myself: holding an opinion, even one of subservience or indecision, necessarily means that you’ve rejected all other possible approaches and selected your own. Thus holding an opinion is automatically means you’ve placed yourself above others with differing perspectives, as reason (subjective rationality, at least) has led you to judge those approaches to be inferior. To opine is to overween. You can appreciate and respect others’ verdicts but ultimately still believe yours to be the most righteous. Continuing this logical thread, voicing an opinion then emerges as no more than a veiled attempt to find vindication of one’s own intellectual rectitude. The World Wide Web has enabled the sharing of information like no invention before it and, inevitably, has also made it easier for everyone to ‘have their say’ and indulge their amour-propre.

Voicing an opinion is the glorification of self-belief and internet forums are, therefore, merely temples for narcissists.

Poke holes in my logic, if you like. After all, the internet’s all about self-vindication, right?

ITT I fail at blogging

Pseudo-introduction:

Ignore the incredibly pretentious blog title plz. I'm obviously incomparable to Rand's John Galt, but it's a pun (and I like puns). If you don't get it, stop reading this now. Not that anyone apart from me will read this, but it seems easier to write with an audience in mind.

Yeah, so, it's Saturday afternoon and I should be doing anything but this. Revising, maybe; it's the AS level exams in two weeks and I've done fuck all. Or possibly something sociable. Instead I'm just continuing to procrastinate on the internet.

If anyone actually reads this, I presume they'll know who I am, but for the uninitiated: I'm Caroline. Seventeen. Solipsist, determinist, anti-consequentialist, atheist, moral relativist, classical liberal, poseur and fan of New Wave indie. I like to watch the news, play card games, avoid productive study, drink a lot of coffee and gin (though not together), torrent 1960s french films, smoke, read, philosophise in an amateur fashion, post on internet forums and then congratulate myself on my supposed subversion of popular culture. Oh, and I work in a supermarket.

Well, this is shit. I apologise. I'll warn you now that it'll only get worse from this point.