Unmitigated misanthropy, sorry

Sometimes I think it would be simpler to be normal. By that, I mean if I liked watching 'Strictly Come X Factor Ice Dancing' and thought David Beckham (as opposed to David Mitchell or David Davis) was the perfect man. I don't know.

The worst part about having vaguely unusual interests and/or beliefs is the way everyone treats you like some kind of exotic bird and coos over how unique & fascinating you are. Then they bleed you dry of all your intellectual thoughts, sap you of all your emotional energy and then get bored. We use each other and then we throw each other away. Nobody's fucking interesting for long, let alone fascinating. We're all just flesh and blood and useless human emotions, and eventually everyone just descends into the same dull drone. Everyone just wants to be loved, right? It's pitiable.

Maybe it's just that I've never been in love, or had anyone properly love me, or maybe I'm just incredibly cold-hearted. Or all of the above. But misanthropy really does seem to be the only option after observing human interaction for more than 30 seconds.

I suppose the human capacity to be an absolute wanker is another useful argument in favour of polyamory though: monogamy clearly won't work because if people spend too much time together, they'll get bored of each other and fall out of 'love'. Polyamory is the only way to keep things interesting enough to stop us all slitting our pathetic wrists. Either that, or we could slit our wrists before the inevitable happens. There's a reason why Romeo & Juliet is considered to be the greatest love story of all time.

Sorry, I'm in a dark mood. I'll have to put a smile on though, got a day full of electioneering ahead of me. Vote Tory* :)

*please don't

Stream of consciousness on a lazy Sunday afternoon

Wow, finally back home after a week with no internet & a series of family arguments. My step-sisters are feisty types. Actually, thinking about it, everyone in the world can probably be divided into two types of people: those who enjoy conflict and those who just try to keep the peace. I definitely spent the week attempting to do the latter, it wasn't terribly fun. Oh well, at least the Devon coastline was breathtakingly beautiful (Look at the photo above, for instance), although I think I now have pneumonia after swimming in the English Channel in February. Oops.

Lol, though, all this build-up to the election is hilarious. I'm so lost as to why anyone would vote Labour at this point; even if you're left-wing, they've gone so far from their ideological roots and the results of their time in power actually reflect conservative ideals, if anything. Take this new 'fairness crusade', for instance, it's so ridiculous that it can only be considered a source of amusement. I mean, this party have been in power for well over a decade and have attempted to implement dozens of pathetic 'equality' initiatives & they've all failed. Social mobility has declined, the gap between the rich and the poor continues to widen, the standard of education keeps on falling. Labour are just a complete joke at the moment, from all perspectives. Especially with these new 'Gordon Brown = the Hulk' allegations, pmsl.

Speaking of politics, I'm visiting the House of Commons tomorrow to see the lovely Caroline Spelman, so that should be funfunfun. Hopefully, I can spend some time in the bar and pick up some good gossip. Ironically, whilst I'm busy chatting up our elected representatives, my LSE rejection is also going to arrive tomorrow, and their feedback will undoubtedly be that I'm not passionate enough about a politics course. Le sigh.

Well, I think that's everything of note (shush, I use the term loosely). Until next time.

This feels like the longest week ever.

Ever since the exams finished, I've felt like I've got nothing to do, especially since I lost my fake ID and my phone (& can't afford a new one) so it's a bit awkward to go out. Days drag on when all you have to do is plan your unwanted gap year, rewatch Daria on youtube and chat in Cafe Nero (or Nerd, as I like to call it) in between other people's lectures. At the moment, it feels like the whole day is one long build-up for a night out tbf. Even PMQs is dull. Plus, I'm looking forward to a possible 'Offer Friday' from the LSE, my 18th birthday on Sunday and getting out of the city for my jollies on Monday. & time always go slower when you're waiting for something. It doesn't help that I'm reading a lot of Kafka, so life is seeming pretty meaningless philosophically; Aggrippa's Trilemma will be the death of me.

This week just needs to hurry the fuck up.

Romance (is boring)

Last week, my best friend/ex-boyfriend died. We were together for two years and then very close afterwards. He had a heart attack in his sleep. At 19. He never did drugs and hardly drank, and was probably the nicest guy in the world. In conclusion, life is shit.

The only good thing to come out of it is the way that death changes the way people look at life. His brother has already cleaned up his act quite a bit. I mean, I locked myself away for a week. But now I feel like I have an obligation to live in the moment, almost like I'm living for both of us. & strangely, death seems to focus the mind on sex. It must be an evolutionary thing.

In fact, romance seems to be stalking me lately. No one seems to be able to accept that people can be perfectly happy being single. Even more irritating than that view are the reasons people give for getting into a relationship, specifically "Oh, we have so much in common." Similar interests are a good basis for friendships, yes, but we don't have to fuck everyone who we get on well with and don't find physically repulsive. Furthermore, if there's anything that internet forums have taught me, it's that there's no shortage of 16-25 year-olds with an interest in misanthropy, politics, scifi and indie music. I went to see Waiting For Godot (the one with Ian McKellen ee!!) last night, for example, and the audience was disturbingly saturated with teenagers. Who knew Samuel Beckett and existentialism were magnets for youth? Young people have been so desperate to become alternative that we've all ended up exactly the same. It's depressing.

Anyway, I've digressed and I'm unsure what the point of this post even was. Oh well. Apologies.